The Pursuit

Creation is a wild mistress. Elusive. Flirtatious. 

She might grace you for a time, but to create is to pursue.

A keen eye and an honest heart can honestly say she's seen. But she's a whisper. She's an idea. 

A lot has changed since I last created on this space. I landed a new job at a creative agency, we went on a two week road trip up the Pacific Coast for our belated honeymoon and I've been wrestling with arguably the fiercest writer's block I've ever known.

My commitment to only harness this space as a means for inspiration and a canvas to breathe hope into my readers made a hermit of my thoughts.

All this material and a loss for words.

It's twofold.

In some ways, I won't dishonor the beauty or dish the utter injustice words would paint the view from Angel's Landing. Nor, will I ramble about the simple majesty of the Avenue of the Giants. There are some things in life better left undefined and best explored.

But I must admit there's a more delicate place I've found in this season. There's a real fear that comes with creation. It's a journey. There are landmarks and the occasional trailhead. Crackles of a well fed flame and warmth. But much of the journey is a pursuit and sometimes you'll get lost. There are times -- the lot of which I've now been trekking -- where the river runs dry or the water turns white and the current of life steals creation away. 

It keeps my soul awake when my mind turns in at night.

To create is to take a stand. It's the difference between talking and really saying something. And, most the battle is fought between your own two ears. It is for me, anyhow.

The hesitation. It's the moment of inspiration that rolls in like the fog. You drift to sleep and it's passed. "Later" becomes your "never" and soon your head gets too loud to think.

All this material and a loss for words.

The challenge is to hone my craft. To tend the flame. To seek the light. To create for the sake of the pursuit; for the sake of creation. To deny doubt any merit in my process. To harness something over nothing. 

Cuz I don't want to be known as a thinker. I'm a writer. 

I'm a creator. 

We must stay the course.


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